The idea of therapy prompts very different
reactions from people - some don't see the point of it when they have
friends to talk to; some are suspicious of talking about their feelings
and personal life; but for some therapy can the beginning of a positive
journey towards being who they really are.
"I am so tired of being who I am not - I'd
rather be who I really am."
We have all learned how to put up invisible
barriers to protect ourselves and bolster our self-confidence. But these
defences keep us separate from others and dull our true potential. We know
something is lacking as a result.
Crossing boundaries
We live our daily lives by doing many things
unconsciously (of necessity), we are however also guided by unconscious
attitudes and beliefs that keep us driving along automatically without
really considering what we're doing.
There are times however when the familiar, and
all that has been built up and taken for granted, is put into question.
There is a need to reappraise one's life and decide what has been
worthwhile, what has been left out and what we are still seeking.
Therapy begins by trying to enlarge the space
where someone can have a dialogue and raise issues or assumptions that are
not being raised elsewhere.
Replenishing our inner life
Imagine exploring a house that you have lived in
for years: you know the layout and the contents of these rooms by heart.
Then imagine finding a hidden room in this house, one that was only ever
used to throw in unwanted bits and pieces, that has been left dark and
uncared for. In the same way, our unconscious minds act as a repository
for the parts of our lives that have affected us badly or caused us
profound hurt or disappointment.
Therapy is the process of clearing that hidden
space, clearing one's inner world. Some people might be tempted to quickly
lock the door and walk away but others, with determination and courage,
enter the room, open the blinds, and see the room as it is. The work of
therapy is to bring clarity and energy into healing the past, healing the
present and discovering the best ways forward, with care and meaning.
Therapy in summary
- unblocking assumptions and negative beliefs
- self-expression, energy and motivation
- finding what really matters to us and gives
purpose to life
- relationships and communication
- listening to and trusting ourselves
- clarity of vision and intent
- making right choices and taking right actions
- being who we really want to be